Damn you Sousa!!

Did you ever get in the shower, in order to get ready for work, and suddenly realize, “Shit! I’m still drunk!”

Well, it happened to me once,… well a couple,… okay a few times. We worked six day weeks in the islands, with double shifts. It was nothing out of the ordinary to  work a sixty to eighty hour week during the season. So sometimes we went a little crazy on our one day off. I don’t know how it happened, but I was actually given a double shift after my day off, instead of the normal night shift they usually scheduled. Hey!, they had some heart!
I remember staring directly into the shower head, the water bouncing off my eyeballs, and not feeling a thing. I had had three hours sleep, not enough time to recover, but enough time to develop that lousy hangover headache, and nausea. I remember throwing my makeup in my purse, vowing to apply it the moment I could see. I had the staple night after ‘dealers’ breakfast of coffee, and three 222s, an over-the-counter pain medication, containing acetaminophen, caffeine, and Codeine. I waited anxiously for it to kick in, it didn’t. I went to work.

“Little hung over are we?” my mate Batesy teased from the podium. I ignored her and clung to my blackjack table for stability.

“Coz you’re not going home!” she told me. As much as I loved her, I wanted to wring her neck, bitch!

I was lucky, I was on a hundred dollar game. This was going to be an easy day, if I could just get through it. I knew by the end of my first shift I would be feeling better. I could do this!

Then things took a turn for the worse. Some a-hole on the slot bank ten feet from my game hit a jackpot. Good for him, you might think, but not for me. It played a rather loud rendition of a piece from the Washington Post, a marching band number,

Da da da dah dah da dah dah DAH!

Da diddl-a-DAH!

Da diddl-a-DAH!

Da da da dah dah da dah dah DAH!

Da dah da rah da dah da rah da dah da raaah da!

Oh my God! I thought my head was going to explode! Vomit encroached on the back of my throat.

Make it stop! Make it stop!

It did, for five seconds. Then off it went again.

Da da da dah dah da dah dah DAH!

Da diddl-a-DAH!

Da diddl-a-DAH!

Da da da dah dah da dah dah DAH!

Da dah da rah da dah da rah da dah da raaah da!

Those who worked with me in the islands will agree, that NOTHING is of any urgency down there. They get there, when they get there. Ordinarily, I kinda liked that philosophy, but right now I needed some sucka to shut that damn machine off! There had to be a slot tech somewhere right? Well yeah, but he was somewhere, not there! Off it went again.

Da da da dah dah da dah dah DAH!

Da diddl-a-DAH!

Da diddl-a-DAH!

Da da da dah dah da dah dah DAH!

Da dah da rah da dah da rah da dah da raaah da!

Fifteen minutes into this musical catastrophe, most of the players at the tables had cashed in their chips, They had to get away from the noise. The guy who had won the jackpot, sat there with his fingers in his ears. It was like Chinese water torture!

I, on the other hand, clung to my table, melting. I was in imminent danger of going down! Somebody please, for the love of God, shut that f**king thing off!

Da da da dah dah da dah dah DAH!

Da diddl-a-DAH!

Da diddl-a-DAH!

Da da da dah dah da dah dah DAH!

Da dah da rah da dah da rah da dah da raaah da!

Forty-five minutes! It took Forty-five minutes for a slot tech to appear. I could see him fumbling for the key to open the machine. I had tears in my eyes as I watched him, in slow motion, open the machine and hit the button that ended my misery.

I hate you John Philip Sousa!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOCxegQupMU&feature=kp  Listen 55 seconds in!!

 

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